Love is scarce.
It’s a belief I created early on during a childhood of frequent military moves and a traumatic visit from my grandmother, and I buried it deep within me. And my life began to unfold as if it were the truth.
When I was just 4 years old I’d decided I was not loved. At least not loved as much as I needed to be, or as much as my brothers were. I had viewed love as scarce, and there wasn’t enough left for me. And I built a life that left me continually “underloved.”
As the oldest child and the only girl, growing up at a time when options for women seemed limited, I also learned that men were more important and valuable than women.
I sure set out to prove that wrong.
When I was 20 my father died. I saw my mother struggle to take care of herself with that loss, and I decided, “I better get a man’s job.”
While I got married shortly after this, filled with fear and a lack of love for myself, I didn’t trust me to be able to take care of myself.
I got a good job at a bank and I quickly became branch manager and began to move up and move around – taking on the world. All of my moving around as a kid served me well as I could flow easily in a new environment, and I knew how to read people and be exactly who they wanted me to be to fit in.
I felt in control in this world – I knew how to get what I wanted. But I also felt empty.
As I entered my 40s this started to feel more and more uncomfortable. I had two daughters at this point, and while there were many positive aspects to my marriage – we had both been eager to take on the world – it, too was more and more uncomfortable.
I could always tell when my husband was home the moment I walked in the door – I could “feel” his mood. It was unpredictable. Changing in an instant. I was on edge a lot of the time. It was difficult for me to feel comfortable in my own home when he was there.
I’d chosen to leave my career to raise my daughters, a big deal since I’d been getting my self-esteem through climbing the ladder, and I started to notice that I had taken to becoming invisible at home when he was there to avoid fighting with him.
One day I had this thought.
It washed over me… it overtook me.
“If I were to die today, I would never have been a well-loved woman.”
This began my journey.
I took classes, read books, attended workshops.
I began to nurture myself in small ways.
I learned more about me and how I was designed.
I went back to school for a Masters in Counseling, and I also studied several healing modalities.
I started to speak up.
I continued to be an avid observer of people, with a special interest in relationships, and how we interact. All of my years of moving around early in life made me keenly aware of the intricacies of this dynamic.
While I’d learned so much about myself and people, and I’d begun to fuel my soul in little ways, I was still empty inside.
In 2003 I visited a holistic practitioner with my daughter. I learned that I was in the exhaustion stage of stress response. And worse – so was she! I had no idea it had gone that far. My daughter grew up in a household that was often stressful. How impactful was that on her health. Fortunately, she had a summer job as a wilderness camp counselor in West Virginia working with teenagers. Immersed in nature. At the end of the summer she came back refreshed and renewed. I was very grateful.
All of that working to stay invisible at home had made me heavy, unhealthy, and apparently stressed. It was the first time in my life that I gained weight. And while I was aware of it to a certain degree, in truth it had snuck up on me.
My youngest left for college and, with the support of a great therapist, I filed for divorce.
If you can relate to my story, you may have some idea of how that felt. It was complete relief.
It is hard to share that truth here, because I’ve worked hard to maintain a friendship with my ex-husband, and we have really been good friends along the way. But I was shrinking in a home with him, and I was not allowing myself to be nourished, let alone flourish.
With my newfound freedom, I began to lead a rich life.
I ended some friendships and nurtured others. I got really clear about the types of people I wanted to allow in to my inner circle.
I immersed myself in the experiences I really wanted to have. I traveled, took additional training, and created a sanctuary in my home.
I saw how those things helped me to become more of me, and more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I lost weight and got in shape.
I began teaching workshops, and watched people also transform their lives. I became more and more passionate about this work, and clear that it was time to make a living at it. And more importantly, I became clear that I was on mission.
To become a Well Loved® Woman, I had to take my power back. I had to stop looking for those outside of me to fill that gap. I had to stop being who everyone else wanted me to be, and become the me that I LOVED.
It wasn’t easy to make those changes. But it needed to be done. I had to create a rich life for myself, and a rich future for my daughters, and yours.
Today I love nothing more than helping women to understand their own unique design, to find the courage to nurture and release relationships according to their own needs, and create a rich inner and outer life for themselves.
The result is more love, and more money, every time.
Your rich life starts here!