Anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
At the beginning of a year, it seems only natural to pause and take stock of our lives. We might ask ourselves variations of the following:
Where am I?
Where did I want to be this time last year?
What changes have I made?
Am I still struggling with the same old _______ (person, situation, low bank account, procrastination, etc.)?
And here’s one of my favorites:
Am I surrounded by people and things that bring me alive?
I love this line from David Whyte because one of the five Well Loved Woman Principles I created and I live by is: You know what brings you alive… and you do it.
Years ago, I endeavored to turn over every stone around me to discover what makes me tick. I, like so many women I know, had numbed myself by consistently choosing people and experiences that kept me very small. I knew so little about myself that I honestly had no clue what made me come alive. I was so stuck in certain areas of my life that it actually felt as if part of me was dead. I felt almost unable to change. The key word there is almost!
It both excited and terrified me to admit that I wanted more and bigger in my life. What might I lose? Would I end up alone? What if I hurt someone?
At first it wasn’t easy shaking those fearful thoughts, but when I started leaving behind the unnecessary bloat – things that pinched my growth, people whose attitudes limited my own, etc. – my life finally took off.
It’s not like golden coins and handsome men started raining down on me, but I started waking every morning with both the expectation and confidence to experience that day with intention and fullness. I began to choose friends, activities, and experiences from such a different place. I finally knew what it was like to come alive, but only because I shed what was deadening me.
I talk to so many women who want to play bigger and do more. Women who intuitively know that a meaningful life means one in which they fully express their beautiful soul… and yet they choose to remain stuck, sometimes in brilliant and tricky ways.
By the way, I know them all. I spent a lot of time in nearly every mental quagmire I could trap myself in. Hey, it’s not called a “comfort” zone for nothing; it can be darn comfortable there.
The best way I have found to become free is to find what brings you alive – even if you have no clue – and stop doing anything that doesn’t. I believe in doing whatever it takes to do this: it’s that important.
Think of me as your spiritual nutritionist. If you knew you felt really good when you ate lots of greens, but continued eating Big Macs every day, we’d take a good hard look at that behavior, right?
So maybe your goal is to truly thrive this year, but your “Big Mac” is devoting too much time to making others feel good at the expense of your own needs. Or maybe you’ve worked super hard to reach your goals (congrats!), but lost your own enjoyment in the process. Perhaps you have justified remaining close to people who keep you small out of fear, or their own comfort.
But here you are on in a shiny, brand new year. No matter what 2015 was like for you (and I know it was a doozy for many of us!), you’ve got a beautiful blank canvas stretching out before you for the next eleven-and-a-half months.
So why not take a few minutes right now to sketch an idea on that canvas that makes you feel alive. Just imagine YOU at your most joyous and thriving state, and then ask yourself: What makes you feel that way? What is (or isn’t) in your life right now that should be? What foods are you eating (or not eating)? What do you want your mornings to feel like? What friends are you looking forward to sharing this new and vibrant you with? What friends are you omitting from the picture?
I wish you a wonderful journey this year filled with all that you want, but most of all filled with your own BIG, beautiful, and intentional brand of aliveness.
Happy new year,
Posted on January 15, 2016 at 5:00 am
Categories: Human Design, Relationships, Well Loved Woman, Who Could You Be
Tags: Appreciate, Beauty, Coaching, Human Design, motivations, motivators, purpose, quality, relationship, resolutions, self-fulfillment, self-love, supportive, Susan Boone, Well Loved, Well-Loved Woman, Woman